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[26 Mar 2006|11:03pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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incubus - aqueous transmission |
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i am home now.
in my room.
all alone.
and i have to say that i couldnt be happier.
despite my psychotic mood swings, i think everything is going to be ok.
i think im finally managing to get my ass out ofthis rut.
thank fucking god.
it smells good in my room. fyi.
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[25 Feb 2006|01:59am] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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my baby girl comes home today!!
that is all.
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| hey there |
[21 Feb 2006|10:22am] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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music |
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slow ride |
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im not sure why im updating. there really isnt much to talk about....lets see....
courtneys been gone for a few days. things have been going well i guess. except i hate when i miss her calls because then i feel like something bad has happened and if i really waqnted to i could work myself up into a crazy panic attack. haha i dont know what my deal is, but lately ive been getting really paranoid and worried about everything and everyone. im just fucking weird. i never know whats going on with me. i wish it was warm out. im tired of the cold.
speaking of warm though, the apartment building right next to charlees apartment caught fire yesterday morning. we woke with up to an apartment surrounded by smoke and the fucking fire trucks and everything out on the streets. so we went out on the back porch and fucking the building right next to us was burning like smoke and flames and everything. apparently some guy was trying to jump out of the window but they managed to make him sit tight up thery got there. it didnt look that bad from the outside but i guess a little boy died. its really sad. the neighbor mike watched them pull the kid out of the fire. apparently he was a little disturbed by the way the boy looked when they finally got him out of there. yeah so i dont know why i need to tell that story, i just find it so unbelievable. man.
yeah so thats that. im bored right now. theres no one to talk to. and ive been watching family guy episodes for the last five days so...yeah. theres my awesome life.
i have to go get tickets to a few shows. hmmmmm...
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[06 Feb 2006|11:35pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
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music |
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classical music |
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today there was progress.
something awesome happened.
i dont really know how to explain it.
everything just clicked in my head.
sometimes, i really love it when people put me in my place.
it makes me refocus all of my efforts and rethink everything that i do.
i sound like a fucking motivational speaker success story right now.
sweet. does that even work? i'm not sure. i know that i want a cigarette right now though.
i should avoid those.
they're starting to make me feel very unhealthy.
damn.
where does the time go.
everything is flying by so fast.
i cant handle that winter is almost over.
weirddddddddd.
i love youuuuuuuuuuuuu.
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[29 Jan 2006|02:26am] |
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mood |
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complacent |
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so im home alone.
for the first time in what seems like forever.
i think ive finally gotten the hang of dealing with being alone.
there was a period there where i couldnt even handle myself for more then a few minutes.
im so weird. god damn.
this song that im listening.
is so awesomely bad.
that i cant deal.
i should turn it off.....now.
i never really have anything of any importance to say in any of these things. im just bored i suppose. my family is getting really strange. for example...my dads getting married again. which means im going to have a step-brother. and then he and his little family including my brother are moving to gray. right..? and my mom is fucking dating people. today, i had to help he put on eyeliner. so strange. then theres me. who the fuck knows whats going on there. sometimes i feel like theres my family...and then theres me. and i dont really fit in all that well but they put up with me anyway. my world seems so completely separete from them. they look at me like im insane most of the time.
i say the most ridiculous things online.
i miss some people.
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